Title: 10 Steps to Getting Over a Relationship
For: rabid_x who wanted Irvine/Zell and an R – NC-17 rating
Notes: Zell gets dumped. The gang tries to be helpful.
1. Buy yourself a new outfit that makes you feel hot
Zell peered in the mirror and looked himself up and down, allowing himself time to take in the matte black of the leather pants and the drape of the silk shirt. He looked over his shoulder at Selphie and Rinoa and blushed at the wolf whistle and cat call he received, quickly turning his head back around and looking down while lifting each foot in turn, testing the weight of the boots.
“I’m not sure about this, guys… I mean, it’s not really my style.” He reached up and fiddled with the black leather collar around his neck as Rinoa stepped up next to him and rested a hand on his shoulder, smiling delightedly.
“That’s the point, Zell!”
“Yeah!” Agreed Selphie, bounding up and slinging an arm through one of his, “Now you’re way too hot for Little Miss Pigtails.”
“I guess…” Zell didn’t sound convinced.
2. Go dancing a lot to rid yourself of pent up energy and sexual tension.
Panting and flushed, Zell tried to move off the dance floor but was tugged back against
Zell’s shoulders bunched up at brush of the cowboy’s lips to his ear and his back arched when hips ground against his ass, “I thought this was supposed to relieve sexual tension!”
3. Quit smoking/drinking/etc whatever substance you used to help you through the end of your relationship.
Zell watched sullenly, arms crossed over his chest, as Quistis and Xu crumbled up and flushed the last of his cigarettes down the toilet in his bathroom. His face brightened immediately into a smile when they turned around, looking pleased.
“There! Letting go of that vice should help you move on,” Xu brushed some of her hair back.
Quistis nodded as she smoothed her skirt, “They say cold turkey is really best.”
Zell smiled and nodded and thanked them as he walked them to and out the door before parting company with him. Then he trudged his way to the quad. As he rounded a corner, a cigarette appeared in thin air.
Well, less in thin air and more in the long, slender fingers of a particular SeeD with a jauntily perched cowboy hat, “Need one-a these?”
4. Do not sit around the house and mope. Fill your time with new and exciting experiences.
5. Learn something creative with your buddies, like starting a band or learning how to knit.
Creeping through the streets of Galbadia late at night with a can of spray paint, a gleeful
Still, Zell thought as he shook the can, he had never graffiti-ed anything before… and none of them were big fans of knitting.
6. Get a haircut. (Nothing says “Forget you!” to an ‘ex’ like a hot new ‘do!)
Zell bolted for the door, shouting over the buzz of the clippers, “FORGET IT, SELPHIE!!”
7. Change your mode of transportation. This enables you to change your patterns of rumination.
Zell clung helplessly to
“Easy now… It’s not so bad, is it? Aren’t you s’posed to be a nature athlete or somethin’?”
8. Set some professional goals.
Quistis sighed as she read the disciplinary report for one Dincht, Zell Gregory: “I will endeavor not to be demoted another rank by never signing my real name to any graffiti art in the future.”
9. Buy a vibrator or self-love toy.
Zell’s hips moved in rolling circles and he moved as he fucked himself with the shorter, thicker dildo of the three he had purchased earlier in the day. He was beginning to think that this step seemed to have some merit.
Up until right before he squealed from pinching his own nipple too hard when there was a knock at the door and then it whooshed open without the intruder waiting for an answer.
He could’ve sworn that he’d locked that.
10. Try to avoid starting a new relationship immediately.
Zell moaned and twisted in
His back was pressed to
Zell moaned and nodded his agreement as
“Self-help’s overrated. ‘Specially when,” His hand slid back down and over Zell’s belly, continuing down and grinning at the helpless moans Zell made, “I got a helpin’ hand for ya’ right here.”